And the award for best use of the word "topple" in everyday conversation goes to Grover, a 4th grader. The conversation went as follows:

Me: Let the dogs out.
Grover opens the door whereupon Wondermutt and The Fuzzbucket make a mad dash for freedom, or at least the back yard.
Me: Do you think [the dogs] could be any more excited to go out?
Grover: Yeah, I'm surprised they haven't toppled my snowman by now.

I'm so proud.

Thank you to all the brave men and women in our military giving their lives to protect the freedom so many of us take for granted.

"Unibrow is NEVER okay."

I had an acid reflux attack last night/this morning around 2 a.m. Don’t know why, I didn’t eat anything spicy or fatty or otherwise acid-provoking for supper. I don’t know if you’ve ever had this problem, so let me tell you - it’s like vomiting except the vomit doesn’t actually exit your body. It just lies there in your esophagus like lava, slowly burning the sensitive tissue until the pain finally gets intense enough to trigger your brain to wake your otherwise peacefully sleeping body. So then you’re awake, in massive pain and no amount of antacid, water, milk or prayer will make it go away. You keep hocking up spit, hoping to remove the lava that is now fused into your esophagus, but that doesn’t work either. After 30 minutes of failed attempts to make the pain (and acid-y vomit taste) go away, you finally go back to bed, propping up pillows in hopes that gravity will keep the lava in your stomach where it belongs. And while that strategy works, then you have to try to go back to sleep sitting up. Oh and did I mention that it feels like Andre the Giant has delivered a sucker punch to your chest? Yeah, there’s that, too.