It all started with the song "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum being introduced on the radio as a booty call song and let's face it - that's what it is. That led Grover to ask "Mommy, what's a 'booty call'?" Huh... now how in the ham sandwich do I explain that? Let me clarify here that my problem was not literally how to explain it; I have no problem talking to Grover about all manner of "difficult" topics. I am a scientist, after all. No, the problem was how to explain it with Ollie in the car. In retrospect, what I SHOULD have said was "I'll tell you when we get home" to avoid having to do it in front of Ollie and also increasing the odds that Grover would forget about it by the time we got home. But no, I was hungry and tired and therefore generally brain-dead so I plunged head-first into the awkwardness. "It's when a boy or a girl... no, wait... It's when a boy... um, no it's usually girls, I think... (deep breath) Okay, it's when a girl calls a guy because she wants to get together with him." Another deep breath, waiting for Grover's next logical question - "what do you mean, 'get together'?". Strangely enough, there was no question. Instead, there was a statement: "I know what you mean." EXCUSE ME??? "What do you mean, you know what I mean???" At this point, Grover starts giggling and says "I can't say it in front of Ollie. And I can't spell it either because she'll know what I'm spelling." Of course, now I really want to know what she means so I make Ollie cover her ears. More giggling and "I don't want to tell you". "Oh, you're going to tell me, missy. Spell it if you have to." Even more giggling... "S...E...X". Ollie, meanwhile, has unclapped her hands from her ears because she wants her Chicken McNuggets and Star Wars toy. I ask Grover if she knows what "S...E...X" is? Naturally, Ollie pipes up with "What is it, Mommy?" "It's hugging and kissing, Ollie. Eat your nuggets." That's when Grover says "But not the kind of hugging and kissing you think!" I told Grover I wanted to hear what she thought it meant, but by that time we were home and I was distracted by getting them to eat and get ready for bed. When I finally remembered, I was tucking Grover into bed and she was unusually sleepy and unable (more like unwilling) to talk. I haven't followed up with it mostly because I only seem to remember while Grover is at school or doing her homework or in bed. I will try to remember to ask her tomorrow, so stay tuned.

I have been a Carolina fan for as long as I can remember. When I was young, Carolina football was competitive and Dean Smith was building his basketball dynasty. My love for an institution of public education was based on nothing more than the success of its sports teams. As far as I was concerned, there were no other choices when it came to applying for college. I was fortunate not only to be smart enough to be admitted to UNC, but to have scholarships and parents to pay for it. After busting my ass for four years (okay, so the first year there was not a lot of ass-busting going on), I graduated with a degree in Chemistry and a damn fine education.

Here's what age and maturity will do for you. I still love Carolina, the school. Carolina, the athletic program - not so much.

The campus - with both historic and pristine new buildings within whose walls lie cutting-edge technology, ground-breaking research and brilliant professors dedicated to the expansion of young minds - is still one of my favorite places to visit. My heart swells with pride each time I read about the amazing achievements of Dr. Joseph DeSimone, one of my chemistry professors. And let me tell you, this man makes the papers regularly.

On the other hand, we have Roy Williams, the much-lauded current men's basketball coach who, at the second offer, took the job from which Matt Doherty was so ungraciously expelled. Many, including me, thought Blue Heaven had finally seated its god. How marvelous that Carolina basketball would be returned to its former championship-winning glory. The constant stream of wins was enough for me to overlook the insanely idiotic utterances that have issued forth from Coach Williams' mouth over the years. I have always hated the fact that athletic revenues provide a large part of the financial support for the entire university, thereby justifying in some way the ridiculously large salaries of college coaches. But again, the winning... However, as I gracefully approach middle age, my perspective has changed and I grow more and more disgusted with the emphasis on athletics over academics. Yesterday, I heard what may possibly be the most asinine sound byte yet: "My massage therapist told me, 'What happened in Haiti is a catastrophe. What you're having is a disappointment.'" Williams said. "I told her that depends on what chair she's sitting in. It does feel like a catastrophe to me because it is my life." (Thank you, WRALSportsFan.com) Pop a fork in me, folks, I'm done. I am so incensed about this that I'm canceling my Rams Club membership. I'm embarrassed to support a program whose leader compares a truly devastating event that killed over 230,000 people to a game. A GAME!

Duke basketball Coach Mike Krzyzewski, historically ranked as one of my least favorite people, meanwhile is taking time from his busy schedule to put in an appearance at the MIX 101.5 Radio-thon for Duke Children’s Hospital. Maybe I should give him a little more credit.

Tonight is the Dick Vitale-proclaimed "nation's biggest rivalry", the Duke/UNC basketball game and for the first time EVER, I'll be pulling for Duke. My husband and most of my friends will be shocked when they read this and will most likely believe that aliens have overtaken my body. I can't tell my parents because at their age, the shock may just kill them. But there you have it, folks. I am, if for only one night, a Duke fan.

And the award for best use of the word "topple" in everyday conversation goes to Grover, a 4th grader. The conversation went as follows:

Me: Let the dogs out.
Grover opens the door whereupon Wondermutt and The Fuzzbucket make a mad dash for freedom, or at least the back yard.
Me: Do you think [the dogs] could be any more excited to go out?
Grover: Yeah, I'm surprised they haven't toppled my snowman by now.

I'm so proud.