From Overheard in NY today:

Guy: How can you believe in God? You've never seen him.
Girl: Well, I believe you have a brain though I've never seen it!

--F train

Observation #1: Clearly my dog does not understand the concept of "fetch". Well, it's not so much the fetch part but the dropping the ball so I can throw it for her again part. She brings the ball back but won't get close enough for me to actually take it from her. Instead, as she closes in, she suddenly veers off and starts running in circles like a maniac.

Observation #2: Ollie is preparing to become a plumber or tow truck driver in later life. At no point today did I catch a glimpse of her from behind and NOT see her butt crack. It's sad when you have to keep telling a 2YO to pull up her pants.

Observation #3: If I were to be put in a situation of mortal danger that required me to run for my life, I'd be toast. I couldn't outrun a slug.



Observation #4: Spongebob is the devil.

A gerbil walks into a bar and says "My boss is an asshole".

Today's hilarious rodent humor brought to you by Joe Cartoon. Thanks, Joe.

My two sisters-in-law (brother's wife and husband's sister) just gave birth within a week of each other. Their babies weighed 7lb 9oz and 5lb 6oz, respectively. Everyone keeps asking me if I remember when my "babies" were that small. My two girls were 9lb 10oz and 9lb 1oz at birth, so... um, no, not really.

BTW, speaking of babies, I found this through a friend's blog and have to post it here (danke, Fishboy). As he said, if this doesn't make you smile, you need medication: Laughing Babies.

You have to love a cartoon character that smokes cigarettes. It's a wonder I didn't take up chain-smoking as a child. Oh wait, I did. Of course, that was before they had minimum age requirements to buy cigarettes and we could walk down to the corner store and pick up a pack of Marlboros for a quarter. Ah, those were the days. In fact, in college I smoked so much it could have qualified as an Olympic event. Luckily, I quit four years ago so I could add years to my life - the diaper-wearing, drool-on-yourself, forget-who-you-and-everyone-else-around-you-are years, as some comedian whose name escapes me at the moment once said. (Oh my god, it's starting already!)