First off, I'd like to apologize for my absence. I hope I haven't disappointed my loyal readers (all three of you) too badly. I've been having some personal "issues" recently. Okay, there's really only been two, but the first is a little too personal for blog fodder and the second... well, I switched my meds so that one is good for now.


Now, what interesting topic can I babble about today? The fact that Grover and Ollie are fighting like cats and dogs? The not-so-new puppy who is evolving into a monster? How about the ever-popular topic of greenhouse gases and the deforestation of the earth? I suppose anything would be more interesting than the conspiracy behind the disappearance of a certain brand of whole-grain snack chips.

Actually, let me take a moment to grouse about the f***ing squirrels in my backyard. My husband accidentally killed one the other week because he had the air rifle pumped up a little too high. At first, I felt bad - oh, the poor little defenseless animal, blah, blah, blah. Then I noticed that the indigenous squirrel population seemed to have disappeared and my bird feeders were no longer in a state of perpetual swinging and disarray. An added bonus - Wondermutt seemed a bit less high-strung (although since the addition of the Fuzzbucket, her high-strung-ness had ratcheted up a few notches anyway). I had always argued in favor of the death penalty, using the "if you actually use it, it's an effective deterrent and eventually crime will decrease" argument and this seemed to be supporting evidence. Apparently, though, the deterrent effect only lasts about two weeks because the little fleabags are back en masse. They managed to take apart my newest bird feeder in a fashion that momentarily stumped me as to how to put it back together. Mind you, I do not have el cheapo plastic bird feeders. They are heavy, metal (not arsenic, you geeks) contraptions that are bolted and screwed together. Stupid, f***ing squirrels. And in case you need more proof that squirrels are evil, they are carriers of bubonic plague in some of our western states. Yes, a disease that wiped out a third of the population of Europe in the 1300s is alive and well in the western U.S. thanks to squirrels. Fortunately, they rarely pass it to humans, just to each other, and it's curable now so they're only killing themselves.

Hmmm, that took longer than a moment. Let me close by wishing all you moms out there a happy Mother's Day. As for my own motherhood, I'll say this: I must not have read the fine print that said in exchange for bringing my children into this world via nonsurgical means, I would no longer be able to sneeze or cough without wetting my pants.

Drunk SUV Driver Drags Man, Who Survives
AP
RIVERSIDE, New York (April 17) - A man who got lodged under an SUV after being struck by a drunken driver was dragged for more than a mile while the driver ignored the thumping noise under his wheel, New York state police said.

Anselmo Chin-Sabam, 22, lost his lower lip and his right bicep muscle and broke his right shoulder while being pulled through a parking lot, around a traffic circle and up and down a nearby road Sunday.

He was listed in stable condition Tuesday.

The occupants of the stolen SUV were identified by police as the driver, Alejandro Xuya-Sian, 27, and a passenger, Guillermo Alvarado-Sequen, 37.

Chin-Sabam was struck in a parking lot behind a bar and became lodged under the SUV. He was dragged across the parking lot, around a traffic circle and along the southbound and then northbound lanes of a nearby road, where he was either dislodged or removed by the driver, police said.

The SUV then continued down the road until it overturned in the woods. The car's occupants suffered minor injuries.

Xuya-Sian told police he did not recall hitting anyone but confessed that he heard a thumping sound coming from his front tire as he went around the traffic circle, police said. He also told police that he stopped on the road and discovered Chin-Sabam under his car.

Xuya-Sian was charged with DWI, vehicular assault, unauthorized use of a motor vehicle and leaving the scene of a serious physical injury auto accident.

The owner of the SUV reported that it was taken without his permission by his roommate, whom he identified as Xuya-Sian, police said.

So I got this email with 25 questions about things we see every day or have known about all our lives. According to said email, the highest score is 23 and the average person only gets 7 correct. It just goes to show how little we pay attention to the commonplace things of life.

Put your thinking cap on and see how well you fare. No cheating. No looking around. No getting out of your chair. No using anything on or in your desk or computer.

The answers are based on U.S. info and are posted in the Comments. Remember - no cheating!

1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom?

2. How many states are there in the USA ? (Don't laugh, some people don't know.)

3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?

4. What six colors are on the classic Campbell's soup label?

5. What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them?

6. When you walk does your left arm swing with your right or left leg?

7. How many matches are in a standard pack?

8. On the United States flag is the top stripe red or white?

9. What is the lowest number on the FM dial?

10. Which way does water go down the drain, counter or clockwise?

11. Which way does a "no smoking" sign's slash run?

12. How many channels on a VHF TV dial?

13 On which side of a women's blouse are the buttons?

14. Which way do fans rotate?

15. How many sides does a stop sign have?

16. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left side?

17 How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?

18. How many sides are there on a standard pencil?

19. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc. Who's missing ?

20. How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?

21. On which playing card is the card maker's trademark?

22. On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats?

23. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone. What 2 symbols bear no digits?

24. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip?

25. Does a merry-go-round turn counter or clockwise?


You're done. Now, check the answers and let me know your score! (I got 21.)

I should have posted this earlier this week, but I was unsure whether I wanted to post the picture. Normally, I don't post pictures of myself or my family (I'm paranoid, okay?) but I'll make an exception in this case.

If you follow college basketball, you may have heard that the student who dresses as the UNC mascot was struck by an SUV while the Tar Heels were in New Jersey for the NCAA tournament. His name was Jason Ray and he died on Monday morning. While I wouldn't have recognized his face in a crowd, I did know him as Ramses ("The Ram" as Grover and Ollie call it) and had seen him at many, many football games. Being overly full of school spirit myself, I admire anyone with the same amount of devotion to their school and Jason was certainly devoted. You'd have to be to put on a 20-lb wool costume when it's 90 degrees out.

What impresses me even more is that Jason, at the tender age of 21, was an organ donor. At 21, I was invincible (or so I thought) and certainly didn't need to worry about my organs going anywhere. I have since realized how stupid I was and am now a full-fledged organ donor with the card and everything.

As a parent, my heart goes out to Jason's parents as they grieve for their son. Selfishly, I hope I never know the true sorrow of the loss of a child.

As a fan, I count this as UNC's loss this week. After all, basketball is just a game.

Godspeed, Jason. We'll miss you.