Not that I needed further proof, but here's another tidbit that shows what kind of backa**ward hick town I grew up in. I was doing eeny meeny miney moe with Grover and Ollie the other day and I got to the "catch a ______ by the toe" line and I said "rabbit". Grover looked at me like I was an idiot - an event that occurs with increasing frequency these days - and said "It's not a rabbit, Mommy, it's a tiger." Well, I've had this discussion before and I've come to the conclusion that I'm the only person I know that catches a rabbit by the toe instead of a tiger. Personally, I'd prefer to catch a rabbit than a tiger and I think that's the more intelligent choice, but whatever... It's probably a far more profound statement that I'm approaching 40 and still make decisions via "eeny meeny miney moe".

Wow! I can't believe I haven't posted since April. I know I've been busy, but really...

Grover lost her tooth at some point during my hiatus. It came out at school so no worries about unqualified dental practicing on my part. Now she's concerned because she has a dentist appointment next week and she knows he's going to pull some teeth now that she finally lost the dangler.

Grover has also decided that she wants to be the only child in the world that can't ride a two-wheeler without training wheels. Seriously, she doesn't care what other people do or think - she doesn't want to take the training wheels off. Problem is, they don't make bikes her size WITH training wheels so she's pretty much SOL. I'm just hoping the indifference to peer pressure lasts into her teenage years.

Ollie is at the moment running around shouting SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS which she got from National Treasure: Book of Secrets (one of my husband's birthday presents this past week). But seriously, what 4YO runs around shouting Latin phrases used by post-Civil War assassins?

In our next episode, I hope to tell you all about my kitchen remodeling project which I'm trying to keep green (as in eco-friendly, not the color). It's been quite the experience.

Grover has a tooth that is dangling by a thread but refuses to come out. She even let me try to pull it (after my husband offered her $5) which I did. Try, that is. The little sucker wouldn't come out. Admittedly, I didn't try very hard. One twist and one good yank were enough to send Grover runnng for the hills. As if the dangling baby tooth weren't gross enough, the permanent tooth has already erupted, so she looks like some sort of dental freak of nature. The funny part of all this was Grover asking me questions to determine my tooth-pulling qualifications. It went something like this:

Grover: Will it hurt?
Me: Most likely.
Grover: Oh. Have you ever pulled anyone's teeth before?
Me: Other than my own, no.
Grover: Yeah, but have you ever pulled any REAL teeth?
Me: You know, I had real teeth, too.
Grover: But that was a long time ago.
Me: Sigh.....

After the whole tooth-pulling fiasco, I got out the "new" vacuum I bought especially for the girls. It's a real vacuum, but it's one of the smaller bagless models made for... well, I'm not really sure what it's made for. Maybe if you have a one-room apartment? Because it is so small (and it was on sale at Target), I thought it would be good for the Grover (and Ollie eventually) to vacuum her own room as part of her chores. And yes, my children have chores. Some of which they don't get paid for. Blasphemous, I know, in this "I want it all and I want it now" culture of modern America, but modern America can bite me. But I digress. I removed the aforementioned vacuum from the box to assemble it and I noticed that it was unusually dusty. Hmmm... Then I looked in the dirt collection cup and I'll be damned if there wasn't already dirt in it. I then turned it over to find the inside of the part where the revolving brush is CAKED with dirt. I was so pissed off I could hardly see straight. My house has enough dirt in it without bringing in someone else's! And doesn't Target even check the merchandise that's returned? (I know, probably not.) But what kind of loser buys a vacuum, uses it and then returns it without even attempting to make it look like he/she hasn't used it? And now, I have to make an unplanned trip to Target to return the stupid thing when I have about a million other things I need to do. Grrrrrr.......