On the way to preschool this morning, Ollie informed me that the song playing on the radio was sung by Chris Brown. I'm not sure I know who Chris Brown is. I said as much and Ollie told me he's the one that sings "Kiss Kiss" with T-Pain. Have I mentioned that she's 4??? Oy vey....

Perhaps you've heard about people having bamboo shoots shoved up under their fingernails as a form of torture. I'm sure it works. I did something similar (on accident of course) this afternoon. I was prying something apart with a tiny screwdriver normally used for adjusting eyeglasses when it slipped and went up into my finger under the nail. It hurt like a mother______. It still hurts. In fact, it hurts more now than when it happened. (And yes, I know I was using a tool for something other than its intended use so save your lectures.) I considered seeking medical help - perhaps for an antibiotic injection to prevent infection - but the prospect of a shot deterred me. I guess when I get gangrene, that'll teach me.

Asylum.com has been kind enough to list the top 20 weirdest breakfast cereals of all time (or something like that) and not surprisingly, most of them originated in the late 60s/early 70s. Having spent the glory years of my childhood in the 70s, I recognized most of these brands which hearken back to a time before the government knew what was good for you and forced healthy versions of real food into your pantry. The food police would likely drop dead at the mere mention of most of these cereals. And to think, America's youth started their days fully charged and ready to bounce off the walls after an unbalanced breakfast of sugar, artificial color, more sugar, artificial flavor and even more sugar. One of the cereals is even described as having "oat gloops". Wonder how that would have worked out on today's nutritional information label? And I won't even get started on the mascots for said cereals, most (if not all) of which have strong sexual undertones, flagrant promotion of violence or both.

Unfortunately, my mother was the food police in our household and prided herself on being a "health nut" (emphasis on "nut"). We had carob instead of real chocolate, made our own peanut butter at the health food store and ate brownies made with wheat germ. We ate tofu and veggie dogs long before they were available in your local grocery store. I was embarassed to bring my friends over because we had brown bread on our PB&Js and white milk - exactly the opposite of what "normal" people ate! I campaigned tirelessly for Quisp - here's a picture in case you're unfamiliar with this brand:

- mainly because I liked the little guy with the propellor on his head. But sugared cereal for breakfast? Good God in Heaven! Oh no, we ate granola. (Fishmonger, I'm sure you're laughing your vegetarian ASS off at this.)

Needless to say, by the time I got my driver's license (ergo, a little independence), I had reached a point where I would have committed a felony for some Wonder Bread and a chocolate milkshake. And it probably explains my borderline obsessive love of cheeseburgers.

We spent the last five days in Myrtle Beach on a well-deserved vacation. Our activities consisted largely of swimming, golfing and eating. Yeah, mostly eating. Margaritaville, seafood, Dick's Last Resort, Maggie Moo's, Wild Wing Cafe, more seafood... I love seafood, but right now if I see another shrimp I think I'll hurl. (Strangely, I had sushi for supper when we got home tonight, but that didn't bother me.) We went to Ripley's Aquarium and saw sharks, stingrays, an enormous octopus (much bigger than the one at the NC Aquarium), Nemo & Dory, sea dragons, jellyfish, etc. Grover got to pet a stingray, but Ollie couldn't quite reach in far enough and they didn't come as close to the surface as they have in past visits. I think they had just been fed so they didn't see the need to play nice with the visitors. We bought her a stuffed one from the gift shop and she was perfectly happy with that. We also went to Alligator Adventure which my brother has been trying to talk me into going to for years. I always thought "alligators, big whoop, we can see those at the zoo for free" (we're members of the NC Zoo Society so zoo admission is free for us). I finally broke down and went and when I say they had hundreds of alligators, I might be underestimating quite a bit. There were alligators everywhere. There were alligators on top of alligators... literally. No, it's not what you think - they lie like that to keep warm - but the giant tortoises... yeah, they were getting it on. That was something I just didn't need to see. I heard one kid ask his mom what they were doing and she answered "They're fighting. Oh look, otters!" Unfortunately, the otter exhibit is under construction leaving the otters with very little to play with but each other if you know what I mean. That poor mother. I had to laugh, though, because typically that would be me trying to explain something like that to Grover and/or Ollie. I did manage to get some really good pictures (with my POS digital camera) of the alligators in the main lagoon at feeding time. Here's one:


It was very cool. Like, awesomely cool. I highly recommend you visit if you go to Myrtle Beach.

We also saw some local wildlife on the golf course. Perhaps someone out there can ID this critter:


Sorry the picture isn't very good. I had to walk across the fairway of the hole next to the one my husband was playing (I opted out of that hole because I was obsessed with getting a picture of this rodent) and I didn't want to get hit by a golf ball - I've been to the ER in Myrtle Beach and let me just say... nightmare with a capital N! Anyway, the animal looked like a squirrel but it was much bigger than even the monsters that play in my backyard, eat my bird seed and torture my idiot dogs. Its head was all black except for its pink ears and it hopped almost like a rabbit. It was fascinating. And now that I think about it, it looked a lot like the lemurs we saw at Alligator Adventure. Wonder if they're missing any...

Even more fascinating was this gelatinous blob we found on the beach this morning.



Clearly, it had been alive at some point because there were quite a few flies on it when I walked up to it. I don't think it was a jellyfish because a) it was too hard (of course I had to nudge it with my shoe to investigate) and 2) it was not just a shapeless ball of goo. It had a weird shape almost like four arms albeit very short ones. Unfortunately, I have had up close and personal experience with jellyfish on more than one occasion and IMO this was no jellyfish. It looked more like a squid or an octopus, except as you can see it's mostly clear. My husband offered up the theory that it was an alien and Ollie said it was a whale booger. So you be the judge - mutant octopus, alien life form or whale snot? Leave a comment with your vote.

True to my prediction, David(son) fell to Goliath. Actually, it's better this way. The winner of that game advanced to play my beloved Tar Heels. It's far more appropriate that we play Kansas since they are apparently still tweaked about Roy Williams leaving Lawrence for Chapel Hill. Well, boo hoo for them. Bill Self can't be a bad coach - he got them to the Final Four for crying out loud. It's not like Roy ever won Kansas an NCAA Championship. At least the Jayhawks will have plenty of time for sightseeing in San Antonio after tomorrow night.

Davidson College is a Presbyterian-founded college located in the town of Davidson, NC, which is situated on I-77 halfway between Statesville and Charlotte. Click HERE for a map.

I think their Cinderella run will end with Kansas, but I'm rooting for them anyway.

GO WILDCATS!!