To Value A Job Well Done:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

Time Travel:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

Logic:
"Because I said so, that's why."

Foresight:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

Irony:
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

Osmosis:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

Stamina:
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

Weather:
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

Hypocrisy:
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

Circle Of Life:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

Behavior Modification:
"Stop acting like your father!"

Envy:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

Anticipation:
"Just wait until we get home."

Receiving:
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

Medical Science:
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

How To Become An Adult:
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

Genetics:
"You're just like your father."

Wisdom:
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

Justice:
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."

Overheard in my house on Sunday:

My husband: We're going to Uno's for lunch.
Grover: But I don't want to go there. I want to go...
My husband: It doesn't matter where you want to go. It's Mother's Day, so we're going where Mom wants to go and Mom wants to go to Uno's.
Grover: But I want to go to the place where I can make my own pizza.
My husband: That's Uno's. That's where we're going.
Grover: Cool.

I didn't realize it had been so long since I posted, but it's been a full week, hasn't it? I tried to post a couple of times this past weekend but Blogstream wasn't cooperating and my patience was running on empty. The day after the bloodletting, I came down with a sore throat & earache. To quote Ollie "I feel like yuck!" I finally went to Urgent Care on Friday - and there's an the oxymoron if ever I heard one... there was nothing "urgent" about it - to find that I have sinusitis, ear infection (otitis media) and bronchitis. Hmmm, I guess "yuck" doesn't quite cover it then. The nice doctor gave me some cough medicine with a narcotic in it - I assume this would be a good thing for the general public because it would induce sleep. However, since my body reacts differently to most medications I have been bouncing off the walls (or at least as much as one can bounce off walls having three different "itis"es).

There was a Blood Drive at Grover's elementary school yesterday and like a dutiful parent, I signed us (my husband and I) up to donate. We waited patiently and finally it was my turn to go through the administrative part of the process - Name, Address, SSN, 20 Questions (have you had a tattoo recently, have you been out of the country recently, do you or anyone you know have mad cow disease, etc...). I asked Grover if she wanted to come with me, thinking it was just paperwork type stuff but when we got to the booth, the tech informed me that children weren't allowed back there because of possible blood exposure (they prick your finger to do a copper test). So I told Grover to go back and sit with her dad, who was still waiting. Grover had an absolute meltdown - "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I WANT TO BE WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!! MOMMY, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!", crying and screaming as if they were taking me to Death Row, arms wrapped around my waist with no intention of letting go. I thought I was going to have to abandon the donation because I couldn't peel her off me. This event took place in the gym/auditorium which, of course, echoes so that everyone within 500 yards of us could hear her. Meanwhile, my husband just sits in his chair... I glared at him and said, "Uh, a little help here!!" and he finally came over to extricate Grover, still screaming bloody murder, and drag her out of the gym. The rest of the experience was uneventful, thank goodness, and Grover finally got over her separation anxiety and came back in to sit quietly on the stage and color. She even waved and smiled at me while I was reclined in the chair waiting for the bag to fill.

Ollie, on the other hand, couldn't have cared less about the whole process - she just wanted the juice and cookies.

My dog is so stupid. I just let The Idiot back in the house and she's scratching at the door to go out again. I'm like, "What? You were just out there! Why did you come in if you wanted to be out?" (And yes, I talk to my dog.) She just stood there and play-growled at me. So I leaned forward ever so slightly and she jumped. I mean, I barely moved an inch and she freaked out like I was going to attack her. Now she's back to scratching at the door. Mind you, there are two able-bodied and perfectly capable children within five feet of the back door, but does either one of them get up? Ooooohhh, nooooooo. Heaven forbid they miss a nanosecond of whatever stupid cartoon they're watching. So I guess I'll be getting up. No, wait a minute... Grover just got up to let the dog out. Did I mention Grover came home from school early today because she puked at school? Yeah, now she's laying around in her nightgown with the Barf Bucket at her side. And true to form, she asked if we could go for pizza tonight. Sigh...